Hedgenotes
a blog on life and all the things from my side of the hedge.
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9/13/2023 0 Comments Do we need to push our kids?There's a post circulating at the moment about how if we push neurodivergent kids when they're too close to the edge we'll push them over (bad), so we need to wait until they're regulated and ready, then push them just the right amount to challenge themselves (good).
And on first glance I almost shared it, because pushing kids over the edge is obviously a bad thing therefore pushing them just the right amount to 'push themselves' must be a good thing. But something felt off so I sat with it.
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Okay, so before I get into it, let me clarify two things. lol
Firstly, I'm a parent who believes wholeheartedly in full spectrum radical Unschooling as a way of life for *my* family. I think of unschooling as traditional homeschooling's wild and wise rebellious cousin who is part of the family but not always understood or welcomed at the table because our existence tends to make people uncomfortable. Unschooling does NOT mean leaving your child to do whatever they want whenever they want. Unschooling is a non-coercive child-led approach to learning where the parent creates a supportive and opportunity-rich environment in which to lovingly and respectfully co-exist with their child. Unschooling can even include formal curriculum and classes if that is what the child is genuinely looking for and they are both free to pursue that curriculum at their own pace AND free to quit, at their own discretion. Unschooling at its most basic is child-led, self-directed learning. In its fullest expression it is a radical full spectrum whole life approach to existence and growth which fully respects a child's personhood. Unschooling is built on an understanding of, and respect for, the innate curiosity and drive to learn *all* humans are born with. The school system methodically diminishes this drive, creating a society of adults who unquestioningly defer to so-called authorities and experts; who believe they have to do everything on their own (be independent) losing out on the beauty and strength of community and radical connection; and to parents who view themselves as incapable of supporting their children's growth and learning on their own, thus perpetuating the colonizing, capitalist, and ableist cycles of harm and control. Secondly, and just as importantly our culture has made parents depend on the school system, and even parents who know in their heart its not good for their kids aren't always able to make other choices. School is an extremely powerful system and the overwhelming majority of parents have their kids participate in it because colonization, capitalism, and all its cronies have slowly eroded parents' options to do otherwise even when they want to. I recognize our entire culture revolves around school and so the things I'm gonna say are not an indictment of individual parents or teachers who are doing the best they can with what they have and for the circumstances they're in, whether that be in the school system or with home-based learning. All that being said - Let's go! I recently had a conversation with someone who was shocked - dare I even say, appalled - to learn I can’t recite the order of the planets, or reliably name the capital of each province. No part of my daily life depends on immediate recall of these factoids, so I am 100% comfortable not having them at the top of my brainspace. I can read. I have access to books, the public library, and the internet. I know how to search for high quality information as needed and do so often. If I need to know about planets or capital cities, I’ll go online or to the library and seek out current relevant information instead of relying on the recollection of dusty facts I learned 3 decades ago :) Lol.
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Sarah StogrynHerbalist. Hedgewitch. Archives
July 2024
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